Grace Curtis from Cool Change

An insight into suicide in the family.

"Check the garage, wardrobe and the pool."

These are not the words you want to hear while searching for your father who has disappeared on the farm.

But this is what Christchurch student Grace Curtis was told on the day life as she knew it was shattered.

It was a tradition, Sunday drinks with Dad. But as soon as she pulled into their North Canterbury farm Grace knew something was amiss.

"The neighbours were at the gate when I arrived, and I asked if anything was wrong and they said the animals were running around with a bit of distress."

Initially, Grace wasn't overly concerned, but as her shouts to him went unanswered and messages stayed unopened her alarm grew.

It was a harrowing suggestion from a family member over the phone to search in the garage that led her toward the outside access door.

Something just hit me, I replied 'I don't want to look in there.' I opened the door and that's when I saw Dad. It was just instant devastation and indescribable shock, I just threw my phone and collapsed, I was screaming uncontrollably for half an hour."

Now, only seven months after his death, the 22-year-old has launched an online suicide awareness and mental health campaign.

"I'm hoping to share with people the journey of what it's like being bereaved by suicide."